Writer’s Dilemma: Blog with honesty or honestly?

I realized when I didn’t share the name of our little beach getaway in a recent post that I am holding back sometimes. It brought me to a central question about this whole Postaday2011 blogging enterprise. Am I being honest with you if I don’t share my name, location and names of others in my circle? Or is it sufficient to be writing honestly from the heart what I feel and the specifics aren’t necessary?

Perhaps it’s part of the digital generational divide. I want to create virtual community over shared ideas, life passages and reflections but I don’t want to invade the privacy of others in my sphere who haven’t asked to be public. I’m loving the intimacy and immediacy of blogging and the delighting in the people who visit and comment back. But I’m also protective of my personal core, the separation of church and state so to speak.  We can’t all be BFF’s and social media won’t make it so.  I’m making friends I’ll most likely never meet in person.

Sometimes I feel like my blog is a diary– except it’s never as personal as one. What I think at one moment in my life, I don’t want to last forever in the digital ether. Unlike the real world, I don’t get to screen my callers or see who is at the door. All are welcome to enter this borderless world.

So, I will continue to struggle with writing honestly every day. What would be the point of this endeavor if it weren’t to find some common truths? But I cannot be perfectly honest online. I am “noblue hair” in this sphere…and hope you will continue to join me on this journey .

What do you think about this blogging conundrum in your own writing?

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nobluehair

A lifetime of love, family, friends, work and play and I'm just getting started. Growing better every day with gratitude, attitude and reckless hope and humor. At least, that's where I'm aiming.

6 thoughts on “Writer’s Dilemma: Blog with honesty or honestly?”

  1. Well I’ve been blogging for ages and I have been blogging honestly and with honesty. Sometimes too much so. But now a days that I am a newly wed I try very hard not to put too much off my husband out there. He reads my blog daily and I always check in to make sure that it isn’t too personal for him.

    We live and learn…

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  2. I think it’s something every blogger tries to balance…well, at least if you’re a pretty private person (I consider myself private in “real life” even though I blog about a lot of things that have to do with my life). I am picky about what I share, especially if a post involves family or friends–any such post, I email my friend or relative the text of the post first, I ask them whether they’d like me to change the name or use an initial, etc. I don’t go forward without their permission.

    I’m also picky about exploiting my own faults and weaknesses and those of my personal relationships just for the sake of telling a story (and by picky about exploiting, I mean that I don’t do it). No one ever understands your own bio-rhythms and the dynamics of your relationships better than you and the people involved, and I don’t ever want to paint a one-sided cartoonish image of myself or of the people in my life, i.e. “the bitch,” “the overbearing mother,” “the jealous husband,” “the obnoxious mother-in-law,”etc. I’m always concerned with the feelings of my loved ones and don’t want to turn them into “characters” on my blog, especially because I blog openly–my name and my face are on my blog in several places.

    I don’t think it’s strange not to share your personal information. The dates, the addresses of the places you’re writing about–those aren’t really important, you’re still getting the mood across–that’s the honesty that matters. If you feel like you’re being dishonest, you could always mention in your post that you’ve changed the name or location for privacy’s sake. I’m not specific on my blog about the places I go, until I’ve already gotten back from them (I don’t fancy a random internet meet-up…I value my privacy and safety!). The name is not important either, as long as you’re creating a voice that we can truly interact with.

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    1. Thanks for the support, Kattsby. It’s hard to come to grips with this. We don’t want to waste time blogging about insignificant things but also want to preserve private space in this boundaryless digital world.

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